can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
