I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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