Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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