I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
