Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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