He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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