what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
