Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
