Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
