i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
