I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
