im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
porn star boner night. come get it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize