whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
