I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
