you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
