He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
