Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
