the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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