I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
