Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
