i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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