I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Jerry, you need to find god
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need a beard to bite.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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