He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
