Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
