I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
