No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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