No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
