bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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