Pants 0. Shit 1.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
