I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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