seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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