I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
