i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The uberlube is also flammable
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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