i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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