Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I will be naked everywhere
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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