Its about making memories worth repressing
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
