ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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