Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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