Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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