its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
