I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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