Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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