So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
