I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
