is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He shit in the fireplace
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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