Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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