I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
