Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
