respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
