i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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