absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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