I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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