I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize