She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
