dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize