fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
