Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
